Friday, November 6, 2015

I Am Thankful

It has been a year of ups and downs on this autism journey.  But in everything, I am thankful.

When the kids are wild and loud and messy, I am thankful.  Chaotic happiness is always better than quiet tears.

When our marriage is strained from the stresses of special needs parenting, I am thankful.  We have made it through another year and I still have a confidant, a shoulder to cry on, a partner.

When our son screams that he is angry or hurting, I am thankful.  It wasn't long ago he didn't have the words to tell me.

When he rocks in public and I get strange looks or rude comments, I am thankful.  He is learning to calm himself when this world is just too much.

When he falls to the ground and melts down in a parking lot, I am thankful.  I am still strong enough to keep him safe until it passes.

Though he only eats eight foods, I am thankful.  Last year he only ate four.

Even though he wakes up every night, I am thankful.  He used to go days without sleeping.

When I think of all that time lacking services and falling behind, I am thankful.  At this moment, he's getting what he needs.

As I sit in waiting room after waiting room for hours, I am thankful.  There are so many lacking care.

When I feel exhausted and drained, I am thankful.  I have three beautiful children whose energy and love of life wear me out everyday.

When I see on the news another child with autism has wandered off my heart breaks, but even then I am thankful.  My child is safe and with me yet another day.

On the days all my time and energy go into helping him cope, I am thankful.  His family understands.

And even on our hardest days, I am thankful for those still there for me so that I can be here for him.

He has taught me to find the wonder in the mundane, to see the beauty through the pain and to believe in the impossible and for that I am thankful.

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