tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4235915141130467358.post4880979711548082450..comments2024-02-04T16:44:34.041-08:00Comments on From Motherhood: Please Don't Tell me Autism is a GiftMandy Farmerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06597614838799191045noreply@blogger.comBlogger71125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4235915141130467358.post-64690999704402470052016-12-18T07:57:49.856-08:002016-12-18T07:57:49.856-08:00You really need to check the co-morbids or seconda...You really need to check the co-morbids or secondary conditions of Autism rather then attacking Autism itself. You also need to check out his diet too. But, don't blame Autism. <br /><br />I'm an Autistic adult and thank God I'm not like Temple Grandin either who is an ableist. But, I can tell you increasing my Vitamin D3 has greatly reduce my self injurious behavior during my meltdowns. But I blame my meltdowns on my Bipolar, not my Autism. Loneseerioushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06629268006899427522noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4235915141130467358.post-83235034327287461692016-12-18T05:33:25.645-08:002016-12-18T05:33:25.645-08:00God Bless us all! I'm a dad and I agree. I lov...God Bless us all! I'm a dad and I agree. I love my girl with all my heart, nevertheless; hate autism. Sometimes I feel that everybody wants us to say that, it's not that bad, that everything is going to be ok, etc....and of course every kid in the spectrum is going to turn out like Temple Grandin..No, for a lot of us the possibilities of struggling with our kids until the end of our time here is a reality.<br /><br />For some, everything will be ok, and God Bless them for that. The sooner we accept the possibility that we could be in that group where things don't turn out ok, the sooner we can prepare emotionally, financially and in another way we can for what may be coming.<br /><br />My kid is so aggressive that the last time my wife went to the doctor she had bruises in her arms so noticeable that they asked her if she was being the victim of domestic violence...no, autism is not a blessing.<br /><br />Everything that happens here has the ok of God, and there is purpose to it, but, it still doesn't change the fact that it really sucks.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12882763272339351323noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4235915141130467358.post-34192386182059719222016-08-08T22:25:48.586-07:002016-08-08T22:25:48.586-07:00My son is almost 9 and can finally dress himself. ...My son is almost 9 and can finally dress himself. Brushing his teeth, wetting his bed, tantrums, fleeing, abusing his siblings. I'm so over it. I cannot be the Mommy he needs. I'm trying. Social group therapy, school assistance, personal therapy for him and myself, the family denial we deal with, just everything. His clothes feel wrong, the food is not crunchy enough, his sister's laugh too loud, his baby brother touches him too much. It all gets so overwhelming. I effin hate it. I thought I hated my kid, turns out, I hate Autism. Is my kiddo super creative building things and wicked quick at strategy games, he sweeps me under the table at Candy crush, but he doesn't color, and his writing gets worse every year. Attention spans, outbursts, it's almost as if he gets worse with age and regresses with age. Like I said, he's almost 9 and most days he wakes up and I don't k ow if we have a happy 4 yr old or an angry 3 yr old with a nine yr old intelligence. I know he's overwhelmed. I'm overwhelmed too. People are so quick to judge us parents who cry and lose it after day and day of those DAYS, calling us horrible. Good luck when it's your turn. Tell me how wonderful it is when it's your kid that you're not sure will ever mature past the age of 5. He's still my sweet baby boy, only as an angry hormonal 9 yr old. Makes the terrible twos look like a birthday party. Autism is no gift, it's a curse and it's horrible and I would pass it right back to our maker given the choice. ReneKhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13574727289772634740noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4235915141130467358.post-42072887591666589322016-08-08T22:24:20.059-07:002016-08-08T22:24:20.059-07:00My son is almost 9 and can finally dress himself. ...My son is almost 9 and can finally dress himself. Brushing his teeth, wetting his bed, tantrums, fleeing, abusing his siblings. I'm so over it. I cannot be the Mommy he needs. I'm trying. Social group therapy, school assistance, personal therapy for him and myself, the family denial we deal with, just everything. His clothes feel wrong, the food is not crunchy enough, his sister's laugh too loud, his baby brother touches him too much. It all gets so overwhelming. I effin hate it. I thought I hated my kid, turns out, I hate Autism. Is my kiddo super creative building things and wicked quick at strategy games, he sweeps me under the table at Candy crush, but he doesn't color, and his writing gets worse every year. Attention spans, outbursts, it's almost as if he gets worse with age and regresses with age. Like I said, he's almost 9 and most days he wakes up and I don't k ow if we have a happy 4 yr old or an angry 3 yr old with a nine yr old intelligence. I know he's overwhelmed. I'm overwhelmed too. People are so quick to judge us parents who cry and lose it after day and day of those DAYS, calling us horrible. Good luck when it's your turn. Tell me how wonderful it is when it's your kid that you're not sure will ever mature past the age of 5. He's still my sweet baby boy, only as an angry hormonal 9 yr old. Makes the terrible twos look like a birthday party. Autism is no gift, it's a curse and it's horrible and I would pass it right back to our maker given the choice. ReneKhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13574727289772634740noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4235915141130467358.post-36243135247880605132016-06-02T14:04:51.172-07:002016-06-02T14:04:51.172-07:00Life with Autistic child is draining enough and th...Life with Autistic child is draining enough and than stupid society wants from you to become completely stiff and closed with real emotions...there is nothing to be happy or grateful about...and society wants you to talk all that untrue corny shit about your motherhood and life with Autistic child. People who wants from you to pretend and to not go towards real experience and all normal and real emotions that this situation is giving you are filled with insincerity and hypocritical and way more selfish than anyone who says all the worse parts about life you described. This society wants you to stay quiet and to not disturb their "lolly pop " life. Grose!!!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00000031258291041832noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4235915141130467358.post-86424198028787219072015-08-15T00:44:15.467-07:002015-08-15T00:44:15.467-07:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Karina Callirgoshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15312414289153183309noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4235915141130467358.post-5675062521840170092015-08-15T00:43:18.183-07:002015-08-15T00:43:18.183-07:00It is not a disability...its a disease and you wou...It is not a disability...its a disease and you would hate it if you had it at homeKarina Callirgoshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15312414289153183309noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4235915141130467358.post-4688607357585969042015-07-12T23:50:56.367-07:002015-07-12T23:50:56.367-07:00The "services" offered in mainstream sch...The "services" offered in mainstream school districts are extremely lacking. My son was offered 30 minutes a month during pre-school for Speech, OT and PT. That's not even remotely enough support. We are fortunate to have pretty decent insurance which covers these therapies for us, as well as ABA, but it has been a long and drawn out process, when it comes to getting the referrals for these services. As far as the school district was concerned, my son could either conform with the services, (minimal that they were), at our home school, or I could have him bused across town to a school that had a "Autism" classroom, where he could spend part or all of his day in, depending on what his" needs" were. It is unfortunate that there's not enough support established in mainstream schools. They tend to offer, the minimum of what they are legally obligated to, not enough to be beneficial for our kiddos. Just my observations... Antoniahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03411612673469491750noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4235915141130467358.post-27899883296823055542015-07-12T23:40:30.598-07:002015-07-12T23:40:30.598-07:00Thank you so much for writing this. It's like...Thank you so much for writing this. It's like you read my mind. I wish more people really understood what it's like. Antoniahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03411612673469491750noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4235915141130467358.post-33606042301468587692015-05-26T14:56:47.951-07:002015-05-26T14:56:47.951-07:00Two of my unclesand my nephew are on the spectrum ...Two of my unclesand my nephew are on the spectrum -- the first two are delightful, have graduate degrees and all sorts of train-related patents, the latter is 9 and a train-obsessed honor students.<br /><br />My sister and I grew up faculty kids, as our parents are academics -- probably 1/3 of their faculty colleagues would be formally on the spectrum had they been born 40+ years later. Almost half my parents current grad students are on the spectrum, looking back, that's probably a constant figure.<br /><br />My kindergartner's bff is a classmate, a non-verbal autistic girl (with an iPad "talker").<br /><br />It is sad so many parents don't love their kids enough to teach them to communicate!<br /><br />Katehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14075630681598355493noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4235915141130467358.post-82655380734152211582015-03-26T08:09:48.921-07:002015-03-26T08:09:48.921-07:00I agree, some families have filed civil suits in t...I agree, some families have filed civil suits in this area, because it is so bad. They have tried to get around it by providing services (OT and ST very limited and "instruction" very limited) but they do not provide a setting. We had to find our own preschool to take him, which technically the state should be paying for! Mandy Farmerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06597614838799191045noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4235915141130467358.post-61965008164324393422015-03-24T19:39:59.543-07:002015-03-24T19:39:59.543-07:00An excellent post. But your school district must ...An excellent post. But your school district must provide services for disabled children, from birth on. It is federal, not state, law that requires it. Here are a couple of links:<br />http://www.parentcenterhub.org/repository/ei-overview/<br />http://www.parentcenterhub.org/repository/preschoolers/Mary Leonhardthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13751249833273087756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4235915141130467358.post-59212287750130725762015-03-24T19:32:50.574-07:002015-03-24T19:32:50.574-07:00This comment has been removed by the author.Mary Leonhardthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13751249833273087756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4235915141130467358.post-90181139653485275462015-03-24T10:20:40.787-07:002015-03-24T10:20:40.787-07:00I would have never made it through school finally ...I would have never made it through school finally graduating if it hadn't been for so many great neurotypical teachers who cared. In fact many neurotypical people care more for us who are on the Autism Spectrum than others who have at least high functioning Autism. Love your reply, Mandy. Well said. Loneseerioushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06629268006899427522noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4235915141130467358.post-71424165044782174242015-03-24T07:23:51.572-07:002015-03-24T07:23:51.572-07:00Nate, I do not intend to delete any of your commen...Nate, I do not intend to delete any of your comments as I think they add to the discussion and I did not find any of them hateful or disrespectful. Let me just say, though, you, as a higher functioning individual on the spectrum, are of course entitled to your opinion that autism is a gift. And I do not deny that my son has gifts related to autism. However, my sole purpose for writing this was to draw attention to the struggles that those on the spectrum and their families must work through. You act as though parents are not entitled to an opinion and that my view of autism must be the same as your view. Neither of us are wrong or right, but what is wrong is telling others how they must feel about their child's or their own autism. My child is not suffering simply because society is not accepting enough. We haven't even gotten to the bullying, the isolation, or the discrimination that he will go through as an older child and adult. My child is struggling due to his extreme sensory defensiveness and anxiety that controls him every moment of every day. I wish I could take it all away, but the fact of the matter is I can't shield him from every stimulus that is going to cause the next meltdown or cause him to start shaking, covering his ears and screaming to try to escape. This post has nothing to do with neurodiversity, I am simply saying if we keep with this new trend in which it is only acceptable to talk about the positive aspects the world is not going to know my son's struggle and others' struggles and how much autism for some can be completely consuming. This trend of not being able to talk about autism as a disability has outsiders confused as to why children and adults in our community need help, need medical care, need special education,etc. <br /><br />We have to talk about all aspects of autism, not just the positives and not dwell on the negatives, but we owe the world a more holistic view of what having autism means. It is a spectrum and for the world to only see those that are in college at ten or playing ten instruments at eight is not a realistic picture of what autism means for many individuals and families. We of course should celebrate the successes and be inspired by the amazing, but it shouldn't be taboo to address the other side.<br />Mandy Farmerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06597614838799191045noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4235915141130467358.post-22342166611352905642015-03-21T09:14:58.313-07:002015-03-21T09:14:58.313-07:00the big reason why autistics suffer isn't beca...the big reason why autistics suffer isn't because of autism, but because our society gives a leg up to non-autistic people and don't give autistics a chancehdlmatchettehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08178089010979081942noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4235915141130467358.post-51908458998257518192015-03-21T09:14:03.179-07:002015-03-21T09:14:03.179-07:00i think i'm just wasting my time talking to th...i think i'm just wasting my time talking to these parents because they aren't autistic in therefore have a harder time understanding autism than i wouldhdlmatchettehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08178089010979081942noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4235915141130467358.post-1424516640256326832015-03-21T02:50:40.714-07:002015-03-21T02:50:40.714-07:00I think everyone is just wasting their time trying...I think everyone is just wasting their time trying to talk to Nate, because he don't have severe Autism if he has Autism at all if people can't see any deficits. He apparently don't know what it's like to have severe Autism or have to take care of a severely Autistic child. <br /><br />People can sure see the deficits in me because I don't know how many times comments were made about them. Though my Autism hasn't affected my intelligence which is only normal, it is severe enough to make me realize what parents of severely Autistic children have to deal with. Loneseerioushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06629268006899427522noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4235915141130467358.post-4427302861907194412015-03-20T18:24:06.896-07:002015-03-20T18:24:06.896-07:00one of the problems with you is that you don't...one of the problems with you is that you don't see any deficits in me. i DO have deficits. you can't see any assets in your son, and that's helping keep him from wanting to do things that would impress you.hdlmatchettehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08178089010979081942noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4235915141130467358.post-84891001556947889732015-03-20T18:22:44.512-07:002015-03-20T18:22:44.512-07:00cures would take away benefits autism gives. autis...cures would take away benefits autism gives. autism is shown to be linked to better congnitive ability and is proven to be genetic. you can't separate autism from someone, ever. temple grandin said it was only autistics that invented things like TVs, radios, computers, ect. you really want your son to be like someone who only socializes?hdlmatchettehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08178089010979081942noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4235915141130467358.post-36802285703630900062015-03-20T18:21:23.843-07:002015-03-20T18:21:23.843-07:00cures just turn autistics into cavemen. the only r...cures just turn autistics into cavemen. the only reason for that fear is because society expects people to use their physical words too much and don't give any leeway for people like your son who aren't able to speak to be able to learn any other type of communication. the problem isn't autism, it's society.hdlmatchettehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08178089010979081942noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4235915141130467358.post-6487263542644688882015-03-20T18:20:25.293-07:002015-03-20T18:20:25.293-07:00your son doesn't need curing from anything eit...your son doesn't need curing from anything either. perhaps you do from your negative "problem person" attitude? why not focus on what will work for him instead? no autistic needs a cure, but things that will work for them.hdlmatchettehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08178089010979081942noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4235915141130467358.post-13803350752716959482015-03-20T18:19:37.445-07:002015-03-20T18:19:37.445-07:00it can improve if you just try. never give up on i...it can improve if you just try. never give up on it no matter what. the improvement may not occur when you'd LIKE it to, but it will still happen.hdlmatchettehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08178089010979081942noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4235915141130467358.post-42250423916721189042015-03-20T15:49:30.922-07:002015-03-20T15:49:30.922-07:00loneseerious you are right. Nate I'm truly sor...loneseerious you are right. Nate I'm truly sorry you don't understand where I'm coming from. Autism in my sons case will never improve. He's a grown man, he's severe and he would not be able to be on the internet like you are. I'm glad that for you autism has not been a hindrance, but it has been for him. <br /><br />I agree you don't seem to need to be cured from anything, but my son does. He will never go to college, never hold a job, never get married. And I accept this and I love him. But if they found some way to have him on a level where, he could speak, could some what participate in society I would take that. <br /><br />You don't know the fear of having child who can't speak and being worried that someone, might hurt your child and you might not know because they can't tell you<br /><br />My wordshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03347230530250166515noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4235915141130467358.post-37249966244799934282015-03-20T15:40:17.377-07:002015-03-20T15:40:17.377-07:00i know there are many. i just think they don't...i know there are many. i just think they don't need a cure, but treatments for their co-morbid conditions. and if you're gonna be upset about them being nonverbal, just think about trying to teach these people other ways of communicating.hdlmatchettehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08178089010979081942noreply@blogger.com